Synopsis
“Givers Gain” is a philosophy based on the law of reciprocity. It’s a great standard to apply to ourselves. But it shouldn’t be used to judge others. Accusing others of not having a Givers Gain attitude usually means those people are not doing something you want. This kind of criticism and judgement can be very destructive to relationships. That’s part of why BNI groups need to be very selective about the attitude of the people they ask to join.
If you find yourself under attack by one of these vitriolic people, the best response is to be yourself. The most effective response is for someone else to tell the caustic person s/he is wrong. Standing up for others will encourage others to stand up for you–and that, too, is an example of Givers Gain.
If you aren’t getting as many referrals from a fellow member as you’re giving, don’t point fingers. Evaluate quality as well as quantity of referrals, and remember that what you give will come back to you from the chapter as a whole, not just the individual.
Do you have a story about dealing with an unreasonably critical person? Don’t name names, but leave a comment to tell us how you handled it.
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